Support a Child Who Feels “Bad at School” Rebuild Confidence Step by Step

We’ve all heard it.

“I can’t do this.”“I’m rubbish at everything.”“I’m just not clever.”

As a parent, it can be heartbreaking—but also frustrating... you know your child is capable… so why can’t they see it?

💬 Want to chat about whether tutoring could help your child?

Send me a message—or simply read on for confidence-boosting strategies.

Step 1: Don’t Dismiss—Validate First

Resist the urge to reassure with, “Of course you’re clever!”Instead, acknowledge their frustration:

“That sounds really hard. I can see why you're upset.”

This helps them feel heard and safe to share.

Step 2: Focus on Effort, Not Results

Help your child understand that learning is a process, not a performance.

Try saying:

🗣 “You tried three different ways to work it out—that’s perseverance!”

🗣 “I saw how you stayed calm and focused—brilliant effort.”

Research shows that praising effort rather than outcome builds resilience and a growth mindset.

Step 3: Share Your Own Struggles

Children often think adults never get things wrong.Let them see that mistakes are part of learning:

“I forgot my password again today—what do you think I could do next time?”“Spelling used to confuse me too, but I kept practising.”

This helps them feel normal—and capable of overcoming things too.

Step 4: Break Tasks into Manageable Chunks

If your child feels overwhelmed, break the work down.

✅ 1 short task at a time

✅ Clear beginning and end

✅ Visual checklist they can tick off

Confidence grows when children complete tasks and feel successful.

Step 5: Your Child Lacks Confidence at School?

Consider Extra Support

If your child lacks confidence at school, a tutor can offer gentle, targeted help in a one-to-one setting—without the pressure of the classroom.

💬 Want to chat about whether tutoring could help your child?

Send me a message here —or explore my blog for more confidence-boosting strategies.